In case you are bored and need a little diversion along with a little education on what makes words bad.
You all will never believe what happened to me no more than fifteen minutes ago!!! I just now got back from El Rey.
I am still beside myself!! Let me tell you what I just experienced.
Lilliam is in Panama City and I decided to go to El Rey to pick up some gum and something to drink. Continue reading I Am Still Beside Myself
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’
And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Not very many people know this.
Following is my granddaughter’s recent post on Facebook. Being a math major in college, I can’t keep from feeling a little hurt. At least her writing skills are not suffering.
I would just like to publicly announce that today I finished the last math class I will ever take!! So long logarithms and quadratic functions, thank you so much for the many migraines and worry lines you created. I’d also like to thank my elementary school math teachers, whose math lessons turned out to be the ONLY math I’ve ever used out in the real world. And to the rest of my teachers who told me I’d use linear systems of equations in everyday life. You’re all to blame for my trust issues. Last but not least a special farewell to Mr. X, who better be grateful I spent the last 9 years finding out what number he represented! X, you owe me big time. So adios useless scalar multiplication and hello good old fashion calculator whose magical powers will now guide me through any and all mediocre math problems that come my way! — feeling accomplished.
I have recently learned about a new exchange program that Panama has started with Russia to learn new driving techniques. When the Panamanians learned that they could hone their driving skills by this new program, I understand that the lines to sign up were enormous.
This is a great weekend to get out and take a drive, but do it safely. As an incentive to driving safely, watch this YouTube video that will give you an idea of some of the new skills that those signing up for this new exchange program will learn.
This reminds me, I need to buy another car cam.
Some of you may have gone to CC today and found the following:
When I went to my host, the reason for CC being taken down was a 2006 post called VIAGRA SPAM. The web host must have some program it runs to scan for potential spammers and it detected this post.
Of course another possibility is that a hacker embedded code in that post and was actually issuing spam. I have removed the offending post and am now submitting another potential offender.
The contents of the 2006 post follow:
I get a ton of comment spam every day. I usually do a quick scan to make sure that a valid comment wasn’t picked up by mistake before deleting it. It is very rare that I spend any time on a particular comment because they are usually nonsense. They will be poorly written with misspelled words and bad grammar or just URLs to the offensive websites.
Today I was surprised with one of the Viagra spam comments. It actually started off with a well-written joke that was pertinent to Viagra before plugging its website. It was successful in getting me to read the joke, but not in preventing me from deleting the comment.
Here was the Viagra joke of the day:
A man walked into his doctor’s office, and asked him for 3 Viagra pills.
The doctor asked, “Why only 3?”
The man said, “Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday my wife is coming home from her vacation.
The doc said, “That’s more than I wanted to know, but here’s your 3 pills.”
A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast, and sling.
The doctor said, “What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?”
The man said, “No, Nobody showed up…..”
Now lets see how long it takes for this post to get flagged. The joke wasn’t even that funny. If I get flagged again, you probably won’t see this joke again.