Tag Archives: Humor

And Now You Know

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows 
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen 
floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick 
And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Not very many people know this. 


Following is my granddaughter’s recent post on Facebook. Being a math major in college, I can’t keep from feeling a little hurt. At least her writing skills are not suffering.

I would just like to publicly announce that today I finished the last math class I will ever take!! So long logarithms and quadratic functions, thank you so much for the many migraines and worry lines you created. I’d also like to thank my elementary school math teachers, whose math lessons turned out to be the ONLY math I’ve ever used out in the real world. And to the rest of my teachers who told me I’d use linear systems of equations in everyday life. You’re all to blame for my trust issues. Last but not least a special farewell to Mr. X, who better be grateful I spent the last 9 years finding out what number he represented! X, you owe me big time. So adios useless scalar multiplication and hello good old fashion calculator whose magical powers will now guide me through any and all mediocre math problems that come my way! :) — feeling accomplished.