I was hooked on auctions after only going once …going twice
The only time I don’t eat healthy is when there is unhealthy food available for me to eat.
Botox would probably make me look more approachable and that’s a risk I just can’t take.
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down.
It’s easy to tell when it’s laundry day at my house because I’m walking around in my birthday suit.
I hate when I’m walking on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
I can’t even start my car with the key as fast as they hot wire cars in the movies.
I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
Whenever Lilliam makes me salad for lunch all I wanna know is what I did wrong
A large portion of my day consists of rushing frantically to places I don’t really want to go to.