If you can Help – Help. If you can’t, then Learn.
Jan 15th, 2008 by Don Ray
I received the following email this morning:
From……: (Name Deleted)
Email…..: (Deleted)
Url…….:I have A question I’m not sure if you can help me or what to do about it I’m lost on this one. I met this girl that lives there in Panama City she goes by the name (Name deleted). We had somewhat of a relationship but she told me she had a sick grandmother and I felt bad so I have sent her over 20000 over a year period. Now that I have stopped sending the money she is nowhere to be found. I have her phone number (deleted) and the phone is still on but no answer. I have all of the western union receipts to prove I have sent the money. She is just a really good liar I believe. Do you know if there is anything that can be done? I know it was a scam and I want her to be punished for it and possibly get my money back. I am at a loss and haven’t had much luck with getting help from anyone in panama. If there is anything you can do or tell me who to contact I would be very thankful…………(Name Deleted)
I really don’t know of anything for the author to do, except feel grateful, it wasn’t $25,000. If you know of some possible means of his recovering money, feel free to leave a comment.
Panama, and most of the Latin American countries, have many young women that are very resourceful at reducing the weight in your wallet. Many retirees come here and find, what they think is the love of their life, only to later realize that money and kind acts do not guarantee love.
I am not saying that you can’t come here and find true love. It is possible. However, for every year’s difference in age between the two parties, the odds of it not being love goes up exponentially.
I have heard so many sad stories of men being taken, that I can’t remember them all. My advice, is to never give anyone money, thinking that you will be rewarded with affection.
If you want to help needy people, then you can find many that need help and will be thankful for what they receive. When you give money away, realize that it is gone and will never return. Therefore give it away after putting a lot of thought into it.
A lot of this sort of thing going around and probably always has been. A former client of mine who is in his late 60’s, and has an eye for the ladies got taken for several thousand a year or so ago in Asia. He’s quite wealthy and a savvy, seasoned, international traveler. However, he met a younger woman (mid 30’s) on a train in Mongolia who was selling used clothing to Chinese travelers. Some sort of relationship ensued (he spared me the gory details) and she told him that a high paying job was waiting for her if she could only learn English. I saw a few photos of her and suspected that used clothing sales was not her primary source of income, but nonetheless he provided a cash tuition payment for her before he returned to the US. Then of course a close relative suddenly developed a serious illness and needed money for treatment and, how could she refuse? So he sent replacement tuition money. Month after month this poor woman was met with recurring financial crises and her English got no better.
He finally got the feeling that something was a bit suspicious and he discontinued the monthly allowance. After a couple of emails from her pleading for a reinstatement of funding he told her that he had contacted an English school and would wire payment to them for her classes. She vanished without a trace.
So, good advice Don Ray, the love that money buys only lasts as long as the payments are made.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment, Don.
“I am not saying that you can’t come here and find true love. It is possible. However, for every year’s difference in age between the two parties, the odds of it not being love goes up exponentially.”
Well put, Don. Twenty grand, wow. That girl’s grandmother must have been really sick.
It is a bit difficult to understand why this guy would think that there is any chance of getting the money back. It was a gift.
I think the legal basis would be related to her running a scam. However, the odds of recovering anything are slim to none in my mind.
Having lived in Panama since the age of 17 [now 53] being a “Gringo” and being involved in more then my share of Panamanian women. One must ask yourself what are your true intentions? If you attempt to have a long term relationship over the phone from another country How can you possibly provide money to a person whose Family you have never met, you have never met, or dont even know where they live at? Its even possible this person who ripped you off was a stranger from another country like Columbia or Costa Rica. I am sure though that your intentions really were not the best for her Family or herself but for your own self gratification. I might even suggest that you are in an unhapppy relationship in the US and this could be a fantasy of yours. Why wouldnt you visit her? Panamanian women will fight till the death for the ones they love, however if there is a streetwise Pana out there she will gladly take your plata. It seems to me you got your bucks worth.
Hi Jim,
Much of what you say, I can agree with. However, I would not make the leap to assume that all people would do what he did only for self serving reasons. I think many people come to Panama and are just too trusting and that is why they are easy targets.
Hi Don,
It’s always a pleasure reading stories like these. Makes me think I’m smart enough to avoid traps like these!
Anyhow, I think that the way this game should be ‘played’ is by us men acting and living somewhat on the ‘broke’ side. No fancy cars, no fancy property, Timex or Casio watches only..
Then if one of us hooks up and it looks solid, it should not have been about the money!
This moron acquaintance of mine is into a (crackhead) prostitute here for …I figure.. about 300-400K! This is not a misprint! Plus her kids are in constant need etc etc. He just keeps popping down to ‘help out’. I feel bad for the guy, but what kind of idiot puts up with this brand of constant abuse?
And this fella has all kinds of female companionship back home! Must be something in the cerviche!!!
The money is gone and will never be recovered. I fell into this type of scam 24 years ago with a Panamanian woman. I taught her a lesson by marrying her (still with her today). She still refuses to pay me back. Just joking honey (hope she skips over this thread).
You just can’t teach people common sense even those who mean well. The most you can do is inform them just like you are doing now Don. Keep up the good work, really enjoy the posts.
Gary
Stuttgart Germany
Hi Gary.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
Marriage for punishment - hmmmmm- I will have to think about that.
Good for him; and thats what I call an intelligent woman, everyone has to make their money some how. Nothing is free in this world, I bet this gentleman spent some quality time on the phone with her, chatting it up…. talking about his miserable life in the states… how he would one day like to move to Panama so his SS check last till month end….blah blah blah….. For god’s sake! Who in there right mind would chat with some gringo about his stupid mid life crisis for free. Remeber folks, nothing is free in this life! Good thing he didn’t call some 1-800 #, why not help our local sisters here in this great country, lets hope more idiots like him do the same thing…….that would be perfect……money coming in with the gringo stayting out.
I guess my big question is, why do older guys come to Panama looking for younger women? Don’t they know from the get-go that the women will only be after their money (obviously! women are biological creatures and are looking for a hard body to satisfy their biological cravings, not an old guy with money. But they are human and they are women and they are Panamanian, so they will lead you on and lighten your wallet!). I came to Boquete as a 29 year old; I’m now 30 and despite being fit, renting a nice place and driving a motorbike, I haven’t had one single local girlfriend. True, I’ve imported a string of beautiful women from all corners of the globe, but that doesn’t change the fact that in a year, I haven’t been able to seduce one local woman. And I’m in the physical prime of my life. Certainly, if I come back here 30 years from now, and find younger women making themselves available to me, I will know without a shadow of a doubt that it is only my money they are after!
I realize I’m not the most sympathetic guy, but that’s my take on this. I should work on being more sympathetic because these women you’re talking about are probably excellent con artists.
Who knows. Maybe they want to continue their life living as victims. I had a friend that had married a Panamanian and was always crying on my shoulder. When she stole $14,000 from his bank account, I thought he had learned his lesson. I found him a place to live and thought he could get a divorce and move on with his life. Instead, he took her back. The family is a real mess. Daughters always getting pregnant with multiple men. Son on drugs. Entire family steeling from him. He had loaned a brother $5,000 for three months to help his farm. Three years later he never got paid back.
He finally moved out of the place I had found for him , taking all of the light bulbs out of the place and even the cloths line that the land lady had put up. Instead of changing his wife, I guess she changed him. With that I dissolved my friendship. I just don’t have time to waste on idiots.